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The idea of eloping may conjure images of couples spontaneously jetting off to Vegas to say their vows in front of an Elvis impersonator. But for Christopher and Megan Niehoff, eloping to Cape Cod took about six months to plan.
The Niehoffs, who got engaged Christmas Eve in 2006, began planning their elopement in February of this year.
When they arrived at Brewster by the Sea Inn & Spa from their hometown of Columbus, Wis., all the flowers, food and other arrangements were ready and waiting, since they had been chosen back in the winter.
“All these decisions were made in February through e-mails, and everything was done so I didn’t have to make any decisions” there, Megan Niehoff says. “It was so easy to do, and everything was done over the Internet, so you’re prepared before you leave.”
Donna Cain, co-owner of Brewster by the Sea, began offering elopement packages about two years ago to add to the off-season business, but now she has expanded to creating different packages for all seasons.
“We wanted to fit a niche that wasn’t really (filled) out there. A lot of people want a high-end experience with just themselves, and we created that little niche, and it’s worked out really well,” Cain says. “We want to give something very memorable for our guests, and we take care of all the details.”
Co-owner Byron Cain takes wedding photos and sends the couple away with a CD of his photos, as well as the option for a photo album. The Cains put their eloping guests in touch with their two justices of the peace - Judith Todd-McNicole and Susan Marcus - who walk them through the process.
In addition to planning months in advance to book a room for eloping couples, there are other time factors and details to consider. Massachusetts doesn’t require couples to get blood tests, which saves time, but marriage licenses take three days to process, according to Barnstable Town Clerk Linda E. Hutchenrider.
“All (you) have to do is go to any town clerk’s office, fill out a number of papers (it doesn’t matter where you’re from), apply, and three days later you can pick up a license,” Hutchenrider says. “If couples want to get married quicker, they can go to a judge at one of the courts in Barnstable and ask for a waiver of the three-day waiting period.”
But there’s no guarantee a judge will be available or that the waiver will be granted. Couples should call the probate court in advance and ask what the requirements are for obtaining a waiver of the three-day waiting period.
Massachusetts marriage licenses are valid for 60 days, so if a couple doesn’t get married within two months, the license becomes invalid and the application process must be started from scratch.
A license costs $31 and includes a certified copy of the marriage certificate.
The Niehoffs opted to complete the whole process in three days. They arrived on the Cape Aug. 6 and were married on Paines Creek Beach in Brewster Aug. 8.
“Susan Marcus was very helpful getting us through the marriage license process, and we had to go to Barnstable County Courthouse and get the waiver, and then we drove right to Brewster Town Hall and finished the license process,” Niehoff says.
Hutchenrider says that the Cape, along with many other areas near water, is an ideal marriage destination, and people who can’t afford a big wedding can still celebrate with a small wedding near the ocean in a nice atmosphere.
That was what prompted the Lumias to begin offering elopement packages at The Captain Farris House in Bass River Village two years ago.
“We have beautiful grounds, and people would come by to see if we do weddings, but we’re not set up to do big weddings, so we offer elopement packages that are on a much smaller scale,” says Nancy Lumia, co-owner – with her husband, Michael – of The Captain Farris House.
The Lumias encourage couples to book reservations ahead of time, especially if they want special flowers or other arrangements.
The Captain Farris House can accommodate elopement parties of up to 12 people. The Lumias offer a ceremony performed by Justice of the Peace Shiela Thompson, a room complete with a bottle of champagne, chocolate-covered strawberries, rose petals on the bed and a $50 gift certificate to a restaurant for a celebratory dinner.
“All (couples) have to do is come with their license. We get the flowers for the bride, the boutonniere, and set up the ceremony – either in the gazebo filled with beautiful seasonal flowers or in the … parlor in front of fireplace,” Nancy says.
“If the couple does have guests we can make it a private event and block off the dining room. Sometimes we set up outside and we’ll have champagne and strawberries for everyone after the ceremony. And we can offer either live music or a deejay,” Michael says. “The base price is $599 on top of (the price of) their room, which is typically the Phoebe White Honeymoon Suite.”
At the Captain’s House Inn in Chatham, co-owner Jill Meyer says she tells people who are planning to elope to book rooms four months in advance in high season and to allow two to three months advance booking even in the fall.
“We really can’t turn it around that quickly, because we have to order flowers, and the chef has to do the cake. The quickest we could do it would be maybe a week. But then, it’s not likely we would have any rooms available,” Meyer says.
Meyer and husband James have owned this property for two years and instituted the elopement package right from the start, because they had had success with it when they owned the Carriage House Inn, also in Chatham.
“We always wanted to do weddings, but it’s too small of a venue to accommodate a lot of people or staff, so we thought we could offer a low-key alternative. It’s a nice way to get to do weddings, but we make it simple,” Meyer says.
The Captain’s House Inn can accommodate parties of as many as six for elopement packages, which include a bouquet for the bride and a boutonniere for the groom, a small wedding cake, a bottle of champagne or sparkling cider, a $75 dinner gift certificate to a restaurant of your choice, digital photography and a CD of your wedding day photos and a full breakfast each morning.
Meyer says her hotel has list of justices of the peace who are available to perform the wedding ceremony.
Marriage law requires both members of a couple need to be at least 18 years old to marry. Massachusetts now also allows same sex marriages for out-of-state couples as well those living in the commonwealth.
Heres a brief video of a wedding at the Daniel Webster. The Bride is a Coast Guard officer. Watch the cake cutting! Steve Baty batycam@allmediapro.com 800-511-4974 All Media Productions Photography & Video
The biggest slice
of a wedding budget is the reception. Even more important, the choice of venue
sets the theme of the entire wedding. That can make choosing the perfect venue
an anxiety-ridden search. The good news is that the folks who run venues across
the Cape really try to make the process as
easy as possible by offering inclusive packages, well-tested referral lists and
plenty of advice.
Shelly
Hippler-Conway, co-owner along with her chef-husband Bill Conway of the Captain
Linnell House and Gardens in Orleans, says she and her husband have tried to
eliminate all the things they hate at weddings they’ve attended, such as long
lines at the bar, cold food with bad sauces and servers who take your plate
away too soon.
She advises
couples to approach the task of choosing a venue with practicality first, then
emotion.
“I think they
should consider budget first and compare it with their guest list,”
Hippler-Conway says. “Some people get carried away with who they want to invite
and then they can’t afford to do that. So look at all the denominators: the
cost, the guest list, whether they love the site or not. You have to fall in
love with the place.”
The Captain
Linnell House is a restored French-neoclassic-villa-style mansion set on more
than 2 acres of gardens that have been restored to the year 1855 by
Hippler-Conway, who was a professional restoration gardener before she and her
husband bought the restaurant two decades ago. Picture cascades of wisteria,
indigenous plants like hydrangeas and lavender and enough roses that guests are
given rose petals to toss at the bride and groom at the end. The restaurant
closes for weddings so the wedding party has full use of the mansion and
grounds. Hippler-Conway estimates that about 30 percent of the wedding
ceremonies are done on site at the gazebo, with another 20 percent performed at
nearby Skaket Beach.
To keep things
simple they offer two packages, an hors d’oeuvres party or a sit-down dinner.
“We’re a foodie
bride’s restaurant. We’re really into balancing the hors d’oeuvres, dinner and
dancing, and the dinner is really, really special,” Hippler-Conway says. With a
pastry chef who makes wedding cakes on site, “Our package is a really inclusive
package. We try to think of everything that would stress out a bride and
groom.”
The Old Sea Pines
Inn in Brewster has a “Secret
Garden” for ceremonies
with a beautiful stone wall area with a greenery roof that used to be the
foundation for one of the buildings when the inn was a school.
“In the last five
years we’ve gone to doing 75 to 80 percent of the ceremonies on site now just
because it’s more convenient for people. You don’t have to travel,” says Donna
Kalinick, wedding manager at Old Sea Pines Inn.
Although it’s a
romantic idea to get married at the beach, Kalinick says most people don’t
consider the difficulties of finding a beach with plenty of parking or the fact
that greenheads will be buzzing around their guests in July.
“Part of your job
as a wedding coordinator is that people come to the table with a certain number
of ideas and you want to try to get their dream wedding for them, but you also
want to advise them as to what is reasonable and what’s going to work versus
what’s not going to work,” she says.
Old Sea Pines Inn
offers inclusive, flexible packages. Couples can choose from 10 menus and
sit-down service, family style, buffets, indoor station receptions, brunches
and lobster bakes.
Kalinick says the
median age of their brides is close to 30, and these more mature brides don’t
necessarily want to follow tradition. They like to set the tone of their own
wedding and things like receiving lines and even wedding cakes are starting to
go out of fashion with couples choosing cupcakes or desserts instead.
As for cost,
Kalinick says, “You’ve got to decide what is realistic for you to spend and
then find the best-case scenario for that.”
Budget is the first thing couples should consider when choosing a venue,
according to Bill Zammer, owner Cape Cod Restaurants Inc., which does more than
400 weddings a year at three different wedding venues: the Coonamessett Inn in Falmouth, the Flying Bridge Restaurant on Falmouth Harbor and The Clubhouse at Pinehills
Golf Club.
“As long as they
are realistic, we can work with their budget,” Zammer says. Each venue has a
function coordinator who sits down with couples to help them plan the perfect
wedding. Most couples have already downloaded the menus and price list from the
restaurants’ Web site, Zammer says, so it is just a matter of deciding which
menu fits their budget.
They do two basic
styles of receptions: An elaborate cocktail party with hors d’oeuvres and
stations, or a traditional sit-down dinner with a cocktail party to start.
Cape Cod Restaurants
Inc. also offers a package Zammer calls “The Perfect Wedding,” which includes a
rehearsal dinner the night before, the wedding reception the day of, and brunch
the day after.
“We do a lot of
on-site weddings,” Zammer says. “Each place has a spot. We have a garden
setting at the Coonamessett Inn overlooking the pond. Up at the Flying Bridge
we have a beautiful setting with a tent overlooking Falmouth Harbor.
And at the Pinehills country club we have another garden which is really pretty
with flowers and a gazebo.”
For a truly unique
wedding, about 20 couples a year decide to get married at Heritage
Museum and Gardens in Sandwich.
“We have a couple of different venues,” says Cristoff Shay, director of visitor
services and wedding planner for the museum. “We have our Windmill Garden.
It’s the most popular. The Sundial
Garden, which is
surrounded by thousands of day lilies. And then we have what’s called our
Parade Field, which is our largest outdoor area. That’s surrounded by Shawme
Pond and hydrangeas.”
After an outdoor garden ceremony, the reception can be held in the J.K. Lilly
III Antique
Auto Museum, which can accommodate a sit-down dinner for 150 or a cocktail party for up to
300. Their exclusive caterer is The Casual Gourmet in Centerville, and Shay does everything he can
to make it easy on the bride, including calling the museum’s preferred vendors
to set things up.
There are shuttles
to move guests around the grounds, and a Rolls-Royce golf cart for the bride
and groom. A bridal suite stocked with champagne and flowers has a full
bathroom and bridal mirrors for pre-ceremony preparations.
Grooms love the
setting with antique cars, but Shay says brides also fall in love with the
space. One bride draped fabric around the rotunda and placed Christmas lights
inside so that when people dining below looked up, it looked like a starry
night.
“A lot of the
brides haven’t been to the museum before,” Shay says. “They do an Internet
search and they see the beautiful grounds and then when they get here they’re
just awestruck. A hundred acres of rhododendrons, day lilies, hydrangeas – it’s
just an awe-inspiring site for people who love gardens or automobiles.”
For couples
looking for a smaller or more casual wedding experience, Dave Schermacher,
owner of Ptown Parties, offers wedding planning and catering services at a
variety of locations. For weddings with about 50 guests, rental homes are a
great option.
“We have about three that we like to use a lot in Provincetown because they have large decks
that can be tented. But there’s also some bigger ones out in Truro,” he says.
He also plans
tented receptions at Provincetown Monument and does outdoor weddings at several public
beaches in Provincetown and Truro.
“We do a lot of
the parties on the beach,” Schermacher says. “Last year our kitchen was located
at the Top Mast Resort so that’s a nice spot because you get the sunsets over Provincetown. When you’re
at Herring Cove, which is beautiful, you’re looking at the sunset over the
water.”
Ptown Parties
features creative menus with hot and cold, passed and stationary hors d’oeuvres
that can be prepared on site or delivered ready made. They also offer a buffet
menu and a very popular New England clambake
on the beach. For clambakes they provide enough firewood to last the evening,
lay out blankets, provide tiki torches and wind sails for ambiance and serve
the food from a linen-draped buffet.
“A really fun
place is the Blue Sea Motor Inn,” Schermacher says. “What’s really neat there
is they are in the part of Truro that’s on the
bend to Provincetown,
so their beach is huge. We’ve been able to do a clambake wedding reception for
over a hundred people right on the beach, tented so all the guests were in bare
feet the whole time.”
Other things to think about
Rain or shine
The old adage that if it
rains on your wedding day your marriage will last forever is of little
comfort to a bride who plans an outdoor ceremony without a contingency plan
in case of rain or inclement weather. Most venues with outdoor wedding sites
also have a backup indoor space that can be made available at the last
minute.
At the Captain Linnell
House and Gardens in Orleans
the ceremony can be moved into the ballroom, which can accommodate 200
people. They’ve only had to do this four times in 20 years, says co-owner
Shelly Hippler-Conway. Heritage Museum
and Gardens in Sandwich has had similar good
luck. Director of visitor services Cristoff Shay says they have never had a
wedding rained out, but he still recommends that couples put a tent on
reserve just in case.
Donna Kalinick, wedding
manager at Old Sea Pines Inn in Brewster, says weddings are moved from the
garden area to a large covered porch if it rains. Last November they had a
wedding planned for the evening of the hurricane and, sure enough, the
electricity went out 10 minutes before the ceremony was scheduled to begin.
They ended up doing the ceremony in the living room in front of the fireplace
with beautiful oil lamps lighting the room. Old Sea Pines Inn has a generator
so the kitchen staff could cook the food; the couple, who were local, ran
home and got their own generator for the band.
“They said they will
always remember it because they have this really great story,” Kalinick says.
“They had dinner and danced by candlelight. It was truly a candlelit
reception.”
Her best advice to brides
is to plan ahead as best you can and then let go and enjoy the day because
you’re not going to be able to relive it. You have to trust whoever you chose
to do your wedding and know they will do their best to make your day as special
as possible.
Don’t forget those
permits
Many
towns require permits before you can get married on the beach. Check with
your wedding planner to see if your destination does. Most wedding planners
will provide all the necessary forms, but you need to fill them out yourselves
and pay a small fee depending on the town.
Cape couples – and their caterers – are having fun with wedding
menus these days. In a new twist on surf and turf, for example, a recent
wedding reception at the Cape Codder Resort and Spa in Hyannis featured lobster risotto cake topped
with a petite filet next to half a butter-poached lobster surrounded by baby
vegetables, according to food and beverage director Bobby Gold.
Even the dessert
menu is up for grabs. For one couple who preferred ice cream to cake, Cathy
Cugini, co-owner of Treats Catering and the Dennis Inn,
constructed a castle out of tiered ice cream cones stacked upside down. Guests
grabbed a cone and the wait staff filled it with ice cream in the flavor of
choice.
Other couples turn
to family history. Olive Chase, owner of the Casual Gourmet in Centerville, has dished an Italian
grandmother’s famous secret meatball recipe and other family favorites up at
weddings she’s catered.
“Food is something
that we as human beings use to help mark and celebrate occasions, and a wedding
is the formation of a new family,” Chase says. “So if you can take some of the
best that came from the two families that are melding together, you make the
celebration more meaningful.”
To that end, Chase
has no set menus. Instead she sits down with each couple and asks them what
food would make their celebration special to them. For some it’s a menu that
marries various regional foods the couple grew up with. Others choose foods
from places they’ve traveled or special occasions. While food choices are as unique as each couple, all three chefs have noticed
one definite trend: a return to the plated, sit-down dinner. The most popular
choice is some version of surf and turf with a lot of really fun appetizers and
desserts.
“Most of our
high-end weddings have been plated dinners,” Gold says. “We used to do station
buffets, but no matter how far away you put them, it ends up being one big,
long buffet line around the room. People just don’t get the concept of going to
a station, getting a taste and then going to your table to eat it. They tend to
get in line and fill up their plate.”
Even if couples
choose to have stations, Chase says, they are much more interactive. She offers
a “make your own chowder” station where guests choose from ingredients like
clams, scallops, shrimp, corn, dill, tomatoes and sweet potatoes. The chef adds
chowder base, cooks it on the spot in an individual pan and pours it into a
mug.
To make a sit-down
dinner more interesting, she might serve a tasting trio instead of a salad.
“Tasting trios are very popular now,” Chase says. “You’d have a plate
with just three little tastes on it, just a little bit.”
After the sit-down
dinner, Chase likes to get people up and moving for the dessert course.
Couples are supplementing wedding cakes with things like chocolate fountains,
mini ice-cream cones and beautifully presented couture desserts.
At Treats Catering
and the Dennis Inn, Cugini has noticed a trend toward
small plates and tapas. “People aren’t committed to trying a whole bunch of
something that’s new to them,” she says. “We’re a little adventurous in hors
d’oeuvres for the same reason. You might have a broadly appealing menu for
dinner and then get adventurous with the little nibbly things that come
beforehand.”
During the
cocktail hour there’s something stationary like a raw bar with fresh East
Dennis oysters or an artisan cheese display. At the same time there are
butlered hors d’oeuvres like vegetarian spring rolls and Moroccan lamb pies.
“Another idea is
doing something that’s unexpected – something you’re used to seeing, but not at
a wedding, like little hamburgers or anything that is out of context for
people,” Cugini says.
After dinner
she’ll set up several dessert stations like chocolate fondue and candy stations
with apothecary jars filled with colorful penny candy. But Cugini still loves
to see a wedding cake. “I like a cake that reflects the couple and maybe
something else, a signature sweet,” Cugini says. “We do Linzer hearts, little
tarts, dipped strawberries, things like that.”
At the Cape Codder,
Gold has found that couples have very distinct tastes and want their wedding
food to be a reflection of their style.
“We have a wedding
coming up and we’re doing a beautiful ice carving of a heart with some doves on
the top and it’s going to be made into a luge,” he says. “The bride and groom
have come up with this signature martini that they’re going to have specially
made for them. If you want a martini, we’re going to mix the martini and pour
it into the luge and then put the martini glass down at the bottom as it comes
through.”
For dessert,
couples are jazzing up the wedding cake with sauces on the plate. At one recent
wedding the couple chose a spice cake that was nestled on top of butterscotch
sauce with a chocolate covered strawberry on the side.
“We
have another wedding coming up where they didn’t want to have a big dessert so
we’re going to serve the wedding cake but then about 20 minutes later she wants
to go around with little cordials and put out a really fancy cheese platter,”
Gold says. “So we’re going to do dipped dried fruits and strawberries and then
I have some artisan cheeses coming from France
and Italy
and we’re going to do a really nice warm raisin almond bread to have with the
cheeses. I’d rather have that than a piece of wedding cake.”
Photographer Questions: How would you describe your style? This is an important question to ask, because if you want very traditional photographs, lot's of posed family groups, and expect the traditional "list" of photographs (ring shots, limo shots, etc.) you don't want to hire someone who describes themself as a photojournalistic purist, no posed imaging at all. Most photographers will be a combination of styles, able to take gorgeous posed or directed images and still capture all of the fun and spontaniety of the day. Make sure that the photographer's style is what you're looking for, don't expect them to shoot differently on your wedding day.
Can we have input into the photographs that will be taken? You don't want to have your heart set on a certain image, and because you never expressed your desire for it, not have it included in your wedding photos. Make sure that you will be able to communicate your needs, wishes, desires before the wedding day. Your photographer should know what family groupings you'd like, whether you want your wedding party images very formal, or if you're all going to run in the water... where you'd like to have your photos taken... that you and your college friends have an informal photo taken at every event... They should also know the images you have your heart set on, those that are important to you. Don't expect the photographer to know that the handkerchief you tucked around your flowers was carried by your mother, and her mother, on their wedding days... Every wedding is different, and although you love the photographer's personality and their sample albums and images, they still should care about what you want in your wedding photographs.
Catering: The Casual Gourmet What should I look for in a caterer? There are all different kinds of caterers and you should look for one that will best fit your needs. Some caterers simply provide the food while others offer full-service event planning and coordinating. Make sure the caterer you hire clearly outlines the services they provide and what you will need to do on your own.
Regardless of what kind of services you will need for your wedding, you will want to make sure your caterer has the appropriate licenses, permits, insurance and worker's compensation. If the catering company will be serving or providing alcohol at your event, they should have liquor liability insurance. Contact local ordinance boards or check with the Better Business Bureau if you are concerned.
A caterer should welcome your questions about where the food comes from and how it is prepared and transported. They should be more than happy to let you tour their kitchen or sample their food. Use your senses here -- how does the kitchen look and smell? Does the food taste fresh?
A reputable caterer will also provide a list of references from past events. Don't hesitate to contact these former clients.
I am interested in renting a waterfront home for my wedding. How do I do that? There are many private residences on Cape Cod that are available to rent for your wedding. Off-premise catering companies often maintain a list of these kinds of facilities, or you could also try contacting local real estate companies who manage rental properties.
Can I provide my own alcohol? At most non-traditional wedding venues, such as a private home or a museum, it is possible to provide your own alcohol. Your caterer should be able to provide you a list of recommended brands and quantities. If a wedding venue has a liquor license -- this includes most hotels, restaurants, country clubs and banquet facilities -- you will most likely not be able to provide your own alcohol, but they should be able to accommodate your requests for specific brands or special wines. If you do provide your own alcohol, make sure whoever is serving it (the caterer or a bartending service) is trained in safe beverage service and has complete liquor liability insurance. If I use a non-traditional site, who will take charge of my wedding? Choosing to have your wedding at a non-traditional site, like a park or museum, provides a chance to have a unique and personalized event, but it can seem daunting. It's possible you'll need tents and tables, china and linens -- even salt & pepper shakers! One option is to hire a wedding planner to help you pull a lot of the details together. Alternately, you can opt to hire a full-service caterer, who will be able to provide you with not only the food and service, but with equipment rentals, event planning, vendor referrals, site logistics, design and set-up supervision. Some caterers even provide a wedding coordinator who will be on-site the day of the event making sure the flowers have been delivered, the band is cued, and the bride and groom cut the cake.
What is the Cape’s high season for weddings and how fast can they book? Cape Cod is busy with weddings Mid-April through the Christmas season. Most Cape weddings fall between June and August due to the beautiful summer season. Events stay strong through the fall, with September, October and early November being crisp months for a beautiful wedding. The possibility of snowfall in late November and December make it a beautiful time for a holiday wedding. Weddings can book years in advance. Check with the resort to see their availability. Some resorts may be closed in the off-season, so be sure to check the dates before you set your heart on a location.
What is required to hold a function space for my wedding? Most resorts will have a fee for the function space. Typically the deposit to hold the space would be the room rental fee. With a signed contract, this deposit would secure the space for the future date. It is not necessary to make final decisions on menus at this time, unless you just booked your wedding for 2 months from the date you signed the contract. Food and beverage options can be decided 2-3 months out from the event.
Will I need a wedding planner, or will the resort’s Catering Manager take care of everything? This depends on how intricate your wedding is going to be. Most Catering Managers only deal with scheduling their property and making sure that the food and beverage is top notch. Catering Managers may have some excellent recommendations, but typically they will not help in booking the band or the photographer. They may, however, be able to rent your tent or linens for you. Wedding Planners are more apt to know the ins and outs of the whole wedding industry. They would be able to sit down with you and go over all of your specific details, such as your linen rentals and your party favors. If you are looking to have a grand event, it is great to have the Catering Manager from the resort as well as a Wedding Planner so that all of your intricate details are covered.
Most resorts have package pricing. If I am on a budget, can I work with the resort to meet my budget needs? Typically package pricing is for the benefit of the Bride and Groom. Most wedding packages include all of the food and beverage for the evening. If you are looking to have a smaller wedding you can talk to the resort’s Catering Manager about other options. You can save money by eliminating the open bar, or cutting it back by 2 hours, and having a cash bar. Ask about off-season rates. If a resort is open year-round they most likely have lower rates for off-season events. Also, ask about other food options, such as a clam bake, if you are looking to have a casual event. Most Catering Managers are willing to work with you to accommodate your budget. Do not be afraid to ask!
